The reasons why I haven't been uploading on social media or on my website explained. Everyone needs time off, especially when finding your true self! I took the time throughout quarantine to look deep into myself, thoughts and feelings to enable me to grow into a better person. #detox #quarantine #selfmade #selfcare
So, it's about time I owe you guys an explanation for my absence. Seeing as we are coming out the other side of the pandemic, I am so proud of all of us for making it through without bog roll and milk and for keeping spirits high. I hope you have used the time we had at home wisely, maybe spent time with family, figured out what you want to do with your life etc...
My quarantine story is honestly a rollercoaster, at first it wasn't so bad I was sketching more often, practicing makeup, doing tiktok's, baking, finding more vegan recipes and what not. Then I had a quarantine birthday! Check out the blog post about it if you haven't already! Then once I turned 17 my eyes started to open and I realised some things. P.S. This is about to get really deep...
The people who didn't like me throughout secondary school were still trying to hold onto me because they are bored, I was their entertainment. The people who I was crying over as they didn't speak to me, didn't invite me to things, you know the people I thought were my friends... were only my friends because I was with them 5 days a week.
Changing the way I look isn't a "glow up", changing the way I think and see the world is a glow up.
I learned that being emotional over things is just because I care too much about the things that don't matter. I have learned about how to control my anger when frustrated, to control my tears when upset, I am still practicing on what or who to dedicate my time and effort to; like in order to make memories is to plan future without the people. Like in the future I see myself travelling and going on holiday with friends, not specific friends, maybe not the friends I have had or have currently, but just friends in general. You never know the friends I want to travel with might be the people I hang out with now, or the people I used to hang out with, or people I haven't even met yet! Continuing on... I can read people, I learned how to define others actions, I learned how to have fun on my own.
I feel dangerous, I have learned so much about myself, about what I want and especially what I NEED in life. What I have learned by just feeling through my emotions, channeling my thought process, researching through my past of my actions is something no school could teach me, no soldier could train me, no parent could raise me to know. I did that on my own.
I am so proud of what I've done to get where I am today, I am not finished yet. There is still so much to learn about myself which will set me up for life that I am yet to discover. If you have a story to tell, tell it tag me in it, on Instagram (@phoebeadams_) on TikTok (@adamsphoebe) even just commenting down below. I wish you all happiness and good health.
Until next time...
- Phoebe Xoxo